You can't let it change who you are.
Someone I respect recently told me this. He was referring to an incident where someone he trusted violated that trust and as a result ended their relationship.
This led us to discuss things that people do that catch us off guard and disappoint us in some way.
As I go through life I find that for me at least it is not possible to prevent the things that happen to me from changing who I am. Or is it something else?
Over the years "who I am" has definitely changed. I am left to wonder if this change is a result of my life experiences or if it is just a natural part of human growth.
I remember when I was young and extremely liberal. It didn't occur to be to be otherwise. I was "naturally" an unassuming, open minded person who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. I would observe events and hear comments from others (usually older) that caused me to laugh to myself and wonder "Why would he even think that, much less say it?".
At that time, when someone did something unconventional I would often quote Jimi Hendrix in their defense "I'm the one who's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to"
What changed?
On an intellectual level I still believe that. But I find these days that I don't FEEL it. Why? The phrase comes to mind "You're getting cynical in your old age".
Well first, I'm not in my old age so don't even go there, but second, is getting cynical something that naturally happens to us? And if so, how do we stop it?
When I was young my natural reaction to things people did was to accept them without question.
At some point I noticed I was still accepting things but in my mind I was questioning them.
Later, I noticed that I was verbally questioning things people did and mentally passing judgment on them.
Now I have reached a point where I verbally express my judgments about others to those I love and trust.
What's next? Will I become "that guy"? You know, that guy that I used to make fun of when he would say things that demonstrated how narrow minded he was?
I miss my father... but not so much that I want to become him.
This led us to discuss things that people do that catch us off guard and disappoint us in some way.
As I go through life I find that for me at least it is not possible to prevent the things that happen to me from changing who I am. Or is it something else?
Over the years "who I am" has definitely changed. I am left to wonder if this change is a result of my life experiences or if it is just a natural part of human growth.
I remember when I was young and extremely liberal. It didn't occur to be to be otherwise. I was "naturally" an unassuming, open minded person who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. I would observe events and hear comments from others (usually older) that caused me to laugh to myself and wonder "Why would he even think that, much less say it?".
At that time, when someone did something unconventional I would often quote Jimi Hendrix in their defense "I'm the one who's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to"
What changed?
On an intellectual level I still believe that. But I find these days that I don't FEEL it. Why? The phrase comes to mind "You're getting cynical in your old age".
Well first, I'm not in my old age so don't even go there, but second, is getting cynical something that naturally happens to us? And if so, how do we stop it?
When I was young my natural reaction to things people did was to accept them without question.
At some point I noticed I was still accepting things but in my mind I was questioning them.
Later, I noticed that I was verbally questioning things people did and mentally passing judgment on them.
Now I have reached a point where I verbally express my judgments about others to those I love and trust.
What's next? Will I become "that guy"? You know, that guy that I used to make fun of when he would say things that demonstrated how narrow minded he was?
I miss my father... but not so much that I want to become him.
posted by Jerry | 8:01 AM
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